Clary and Alec
by fandie1201
Summary: Clary confront Alec with the fact that he loves Jace. But what she doesn't knowis that he loves her. "I know you love Jace," Clary said. Alec looked at her with confusion, anger and a small spark of affection... gone before she was sure it was there. "I don't love Jace," He said looking her straight in the eyes. "Why would you think that?" he came lose from the wall...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, i am from Holland and this is my first story on here. Please review!**

 **This is from the moment when Clary confront Alec with his 'feelings for Jace'.**

"I know you love Jace," Clary said. Alec looked at her with confusion, anger and a small spark of affection... gone before she was sure it was there. "I don't love Jace," He said looking her straight in the eyes. "Why would you think that?" he came lose from the wall across the hall and walked to Clary. He stopped before her, letting one feet between them. Clary felt confused, not only because he said her theory wasn't true. It was his appearance, so close to her and the feeling she got from it, that really confused her. "When i'm with Jace you're always mean and you're very protective over him," She told him softly without losing eye contact. He was the one who broke it. "Ohw… Ehmmm, no that's not because i like Jace." His eyes where looking at his shoes, which he moved nervously. Clary got a little nervous from him being nervous. Not knowing what to expect. She never really saw Alec as a nervous and emotional person. Of course he had feelings, it's not like she thought that he didn't. But he always had his walls high up so nobody knew what he was feeling or thinking. Most people only knew what he showed them. Clary thought she could see what he truly meant, most of the time. But now she was too confused by what was going on. She was also trying to think of something what could explain that he was mean. Other than that he was in love with Jace, nothing popped up in her mind

"So why do you hate me then?"

"I don't hate you!" He looked angry and tired in her eyes. The anger melted away when he realised that he was speaking to Clary. She wanted to say something, but the girl noticed that Alec was trying to find the courage to say what he wanted to say. Now he looked shy in her eyes. "I… It's not Jace i like" His eyes turned to the ground looking like he was ashamed of what he just told her. But when he looked back up, she saw nothing else then that he was glad that he told her. He was still waiting for a response. The spark in his eyes became dull while he was waiting for a response. She just didn't know how to answer.

* * *

There was a weight off Alec's shoulders, one he didn't know he was carrying. He was glad he told her, sort of. It was now out in the open. But he knew that now that his hopes are awake, they will be crushed any time soon. When the red-haired-girl didn't answer he hoped that his face didn't show what he felt. His hope getting smaller and smaller every minute. Alec looked at her and saw she was figuring out what she was going to say. When she finally started talking, he thought it was a mistake to tell her that he liked her. "I… I don't know what to say Alec." Maybe it wasn't a mistake. Well that's what he hoped, now that she didn't say no. But she liked Jace. When that happened, there was no way back. For that he was angry at Jace. Angry that Jace had her heart and if he liked her as much as Alec did then it was a lost cause. He could never love her as the blond-haired-boy could. Not as experienced, free or unclumsy. But the black-haired-boy needed to know.

* * *

Alec came closer. Putting his hand beside her face. She felt like she was starting to blush. This boy had a strange effect on her. "Do you love him?" He said fast and soft but looking her straight in the eyes. She almost didn't hear him but she did. The emotions running through those four words hurted her. Clary didn't want him to feel hurt or bad and above all not because of her. She felt bad of it and at the same time she felt something she never felt before. Not like this. She wanted to take a step towards the beautiful black haired boy and comfort him. Putting a hand on his cheek and putting a small kiss on his lips. The girl didn't do it. She felt like she would betray someone. Jace… she would betray Jace. She hadn't thought about him since the start of this conversation. Looking into Alecs' eyes, the red haired girl remembered she still needed to answer his question. The problem was HOW. The truth. That's how she was going to answer. "I don't know. If you would have asked that question an hour ago i probably would have said that i liked him. But now with you so close to me. It questions what i thought love felt like." Clary said while she looked away from Alec and felt her cheeks burn. "I really thought i loved him. But this feels as something i shouldn't be feeling if i loved Jace." She felt his hands against her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. He looked with eyes full of passion. So when he came closer, she wasn't surprised. The kiss was small but full of passion. His lips felt soft and good against hers. When he pulled back he smiled. That smile filled Clary's body with a warm feeling she hoped would never stop. She smiled back at him. He kissed her nose once and stepped back. "I love your freckles did you know?" And with that he left her alone, with a smile on her face, that wouldn't leave her face in hours.


	2. Chapter 2

**Please don't be mad at me, and please read until the end.**

And that's where Alec woke up. He didn't recognise where he was, but after a few moments he realised that he was in his bedroom. Was it all a dream? He thought confused. It felt so real. And that's when he noticed Jace sitting in the chair beside the gold haired boy smiled his sarcastic smile and said "Rise and shine sunshine." "Hmmm" replied Alec, not wanting to answer. He really didn't want to go out of his bed; it was a dream. All he ever wanted, happend. In a dream... His thoughts were interrupted by Jace: "What's going on? It looks like something bad has happened." Alec said: "No, that's not it, i just had a very strange dream." Jace couldn't find out how he really felt. If the blond haired guy knew what Alec felt about Clary… "Let me guess you've got eaten by a enormous gummy bear?" His parabatai Smirked "And now you want to take revenge by..." "No it was about Clary," interrupted the blue eyed guy him. Jace raised his eyebrows. And so Alec told him the story, letting his feelings out of the story. Jace didn't need to know how every time he saw her, his heart skipped a beat or how, when they kissed time had stopped.

"Strange dream indeed," Jace told him with an odd smile on his face. Alec wondered what was going on in the head of the boy. Probably Clary. He know he would think about her if he had heard that his parabatai had kissed his girlfriend. Even if it was in a dream. Who was he kidding, he always thinks about her no matter where he was or which time it was.. "But to what do i owe this pleasure?Is there a mission of some kind?" Alec asked while he throwed his blanked off and wanted to stand. But he felt kind of light in the head, so he sat back down.  
"You don't remember you fell from the stairs?" Asked his parabatai sarcastic. "From what i heard it was quit a fall."  
"No?" Alec questionably answered. It would explain why he felt a little light in the head.  
"Well, you did. You had just talked to Clary and she heard you falling from the stairs. So she went towards you and drew a iratze. After that she got me to lift you up and bring you to your bed because you were unconscious." So the black haired boy was talking to Clary! Maybe it wasn´t a dream at all! So he asked: "Did she say where we were talking." He needed to know if it was on the same place. Maybe it happened. He couldn't tell at the moment. "In the hallway that looks out over the garden." Jace said. Alec needed to find Clary, speak to her, see her. He drew another iratze, stood up and walked away. All he needed to know was if it was real.

While thinking about Clary and how nice it felt to let their lips melt together, even for such a short time. If it was even true. Without realising it, he had walked to the place where they had kissed. And there she was. Clary as beautiful as always; like an angels, which wasn't strange of course for a race of human-angel hybrids. But she had always looked more angelic than all the other people he had met. "Hey you." Alec said. The red haired girl turned around and when she saw him, she smiled the biggest smile he had ever seen. And then he knew it. He hadn't made it up.

She started running toward Alec. When she finally came near the boy, she slowed down. She opened her arms, filled with a joy she had never experienced before. When Clary heard something fall, she immediately began running towards it. The moment she saw Alec laying on the ground, unconscious, it was as if time herself had stopped. Seeing him here, unharmed and safe, made her feel like the world was finally on her side. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.  
-

Alec put his arms around her and spinned her around. And for a moment nothing could go wrong in their oh so f*cked up world. When he had finally put Clary back on her feets, she whispered: "I'm glad you didn't die." And then she kissed him. The kiss was fire, passion, hunger and for a moment uncontrollable. Their hands were everywhere; tongues couldn't find where Clary ended and Alec began; their mind all over the place. The hunger was growing and before Alec had let it take full possession off his mind and body, he realised something and pulled back. Clary looked at him questionable but full of love. It made Alec's heart skip a beat.  
"Jace still loves you," Alec said.  
"I know" Clary informed him, but it didn't seem like she appreciated that he had brought it up.

"So what are we going to do about it?" he asked her, not wanting to ruin the moment any further then he had.

"Let me take care of it alright," She told him "I am choosing for you, so i have to let him know."

"You're choosing me?" Alec asked shy, surprised, full of emotion and with a smile on his face, so big that people could see it from the moon..

"Yes i choose you." she replied full of love and with a voice as tender as humanly possible.

 **Please keep reviewing!** **I don't really know when i will update. I uploaded the first chapter for me to see if i didn't really suck at writing. But now that i know that you guys like it, (thanks for all the good reviews by the way, i'm really glad you guys like it :) And to answer to the question if the ship name should be Clec or Alery, for me Alery is the winner.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, here is chapter 3. Sorry it took so long.**

Clary and Alec were in the library. Alec was sitting on the old couch, the fabric it was made of was broken at some places. He always sat on the couch when he was reading books. Most of the time it was for himself, but sometimes he read them out loud for Clary. Now he was watching Clary walk across the room over and over again. The blue-eyed-boy knew something was up. "Hey, come sit down for a moment" Alec said while tapping on the couch he sat on. He couldn't stand the walking. She came towards him and laid against him. Alec, who still couldn't believe she choose him, put an arm around the red-haired-girl. It felt so right. They could lay here for hours, the way the lay now, and he wouldn't mind. Maybe, Alec thought, this was going to be all that they were going to do today, just laying here and talk. It would have been a perfect moment, if she wasn't as worried as she was. "You're still worried?" Alec kissed her head after he asked it. The kiss was soft and told her that he was there for her and that he cared more about her than anything else. "Yes, but most of all i feel guilty. We didn't hurt Jace on purpose of course. But it's just that i didn't want him to find out about it, the way he did." Even though he didn't saw her face because she looked at the bookshelves, Alec knew she felt miserable about what happened. This made him feel sad and all of a sudden the whole world seemed sad. He wanted to do something about it, but he knew that he couldn't do much and he hated that.

* * *

"I understand it, i felt bad about it to. He's my parabatai, which doesn't make it easier. I couldn't get it out of my head for days. But then i realised that we can't do anything about the way we feel." She looked at him and saw him looking back at her, like she was the only thing that mattered. Her heart skipped a beat and her lips crulled in a loving smile as response. "I know. You're right. But i can't shake the feeling that we did something terrible," While she told him, her smile disappeared. She kept looking at him. "Not that i think that what we have is wrong or terrible, by the angel, no. But that we haven't told him before, and his reaction, that's what bothers me." She thought back at the moment he found out.

 _Everybody was in the kitchen, Clary, Alec, Jace, Izzy and even Simon was there. It was almost time for lunch._ _They were talking about what kind of food they wanted as lunch. Soon after the decision was made, they were going to eat at Taki's, the conversation changed to what kind of stupid things people had once done. It was all fine and funny until Simon asked, half laughing: "But Alec, i heard that you fell from the stairs." "Yes that is true, that kind of things happen, even with shadowhunters" Alec said, slightly annoyed, which wasn't unusual when he talked to Simon. But he was trying to be nicer, since Simon is Clary's friend. "Unless you're me." Jace said with a cocky look on his face. "But what were you doing there, that you were so distracted that you couldn't even walk down the stairs?" Simon asked curious, but he quickly realised that he shouldn't have asked that question. Alec went quiet the moment he asked. Clary started blushing. It was very light and almost not visible. Jace began to notice that there was something off. When Alec finally found the words he wanted he told Simon: "I… Ehm …. I was talking to Clary." Simon had already made his suspicious and now he knew he was right. Clary saw that Simon knew exactly what was going on; it wasn't the whole story. But what else could she expect from her oldest and best friend. At this time Izzy knew what had happened too. "Oh by the angel, what is going on?!" Jace said clearly annoyed and demanding for an answer. At that moment the room felt utterly claustrophobic for Alec and Clary. "I'm not an idiot. There is something going on and everybody knows about it except for me." Jace wasn't happy about what was going on. "Which makes it almost everybody" Simon corrected him, and again he knew that he shouldn't have said that. Jace looked at him like he wanted to kill him. Clary was afraid of what would happen if she wouldn't say a thing, but also of what was yet to come. Clary putted the fear behind her and started talking with a voice full of authority. "Jace we need to talk," Clary looked him straight in the eyes. "In private."_

"Where are you with your head?" asked the blue-haired-boy curious and loving. He had brought her back to the present; out of the memory. "I'm sorry i see everything so clear in front of me. His facial expressions, the conversation, everything from the kitchen till the evening." She answered with a face that could cry any moment. The face of the golden boy was full of hurt but at the same time completely emotionless when she told him. It was like nothing she had ever seen. It was scary and she knew that it was something that would haunt her for a very long time, maybe even for forever. After the conversation with Jace he had walked away. Clary was upset, she didn't want to hurt him. She ran towards her room, which was on the other side of the building. When the girl finally reached her room, she knew she wouldn't leave it for quite some time. Nobody had to she her like that. After half an hour, when Simon came, the worst had passed. The boy tried to cheer her up and asked questions. After dinner he left and she was alone again. Alec had noticed she was about to cry, so he hugged her, so she knew he was there, and asked: "Should i read something for you? To get your mind of that day?" She loved it if he read for her. Listening to his voice, which was as stunning as music, and the story of the books he read. It had always made her feel better. So she cherished moments like those. The red-haired-girl nodded and stood up, so the boy could get a book from the shelves. The night she told Jace, he read for her for the first time. It was all she needed and more and after that night she knew that Alec could always cheer her up, even when it seems to be impossible. "Is this book good?" Alec asked looking at her with so much love, that she needed a second to even realise he asked something. "The infernal devices book 1" She read from the cover of the book. "It is a story about a part of the history from the shadowhunters from England" He looked happy and enthusiast, like always when he found a book he would love. "Let's start!" She said looking at him with all the love she had. And so he told her the story about a girl called Tessa, while Clary laid against him. She listened and looked at him with so much love, nobody could deny that her love was real.

 **Thank you for reading another chapter! Please keep reviewing! Again sorry that it took so long, my inspiration was gone and i had it a little bit bussy. I don't know when i will be uploading the next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, sorry guys it took so long. If it wasn't for a friend of mine, i wouldn't have had the inspiration for the following chapters. I know this is a shorter chapter than normal, but the next one will probably be longer.  
Please enjoy and review! I wan't to know what you guys think of it.**

Clary walked into her room. She had her room for over a month now, but it still looked impersonal. It was arranged in the same way the other dozen of guestrooms the institute had been. Jace had told her when she had just been here, that in the earlier years of the institute all the guestrooms had been filled. Now almost all the rooms were out of use. When she noticed that she was walking across the room over and over again, Clary decided to take a seat on the edge of her bed.. "They will be alright, they have been training for this since they were in the crib." The black-haired-girl walked towards Clary and sat down next to her. "Quite literally actually." Izzy added with a smile. The red-haired-girl knew it was meant well, but she was to worried about Alec to really appreciate it. She still smiled a weak smile to let Izzy know that she appreciated what she tried to do. "Clary, he is going to be alright. Jace is with him and will watch over Alec. Like he always does." Clary saw the girls lip curl in a loving smile. She probably thought about all the time she fought with them; when she was part of the team; when all three of them looked out for each other. It took some of the concern away, even though she knew it was the other way around. It had always been Alec who watched over Jace. "Relax a little, i know you're worried about Alec, but Jace won't get him killed just because he feels betrayed." She knew he wouldn't get Alec killed, but get him physically hurt. It wouldn't be the first time he would get his siblings hurt… No, she had to stop it. She shouldn't be thinking as bad about him as she did. They were parabatai, if he would hurt Alec, he would hurt himself. And like Izzy said, he wouldn't get them both killed just because he wasn't happy the way it was going. Clary told herself this multiple times until she fully believed it. She wasn't going to let her think otherwise. The guys would both get home with maybe some scratches and blood, but nothing more. They would both get home, she repeated to herself. So when the girl had convinced herself, she put a smile on her face and tried not to worry about it anymore. There was a moment of silence and apparently they were done with the topic. Because when Izzy opened her mouth, it wasn't about the mission at all. "So, you like my brother huh." She said with a devilish smile, while wiggling her eyebrows in that confident way of her. Of course she brought up that one specific subject. It had actually surprised the green-eyed-girl that it had taken her so long. In response she just rolled her eyes with a big smile. It was a kind of magic, that when his name was called, a smile grew. Clary guessed love was precisely that. Magic.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is the next chapter. Again, this wouldn't have been possible without my friend :)**

 **Please review, I love to hear what you guys think of this chapter!**

Alec thanked whoever was up there that the smell wasn't that all-consuming. Normally the sewer was a home for several disgusting smells, which all together made an even more horrific odour. Even though the parabatai had just drawn a rune at each other, the smell came through. If his rune hadn't been as powerful as it was, if someone else had drawn it, or even if he had done it himself, he would most likely have puked from the smell. "Well this smells amazing," Jace sarcastically told him. "do you think they can make a candle out of it? I would really love to have one in my room back in the institute!" He breathed in deeply , but from the look on his face, he wasn't thinking of doing it again in the near future. "Just be happy that the water has just been drained," Alec said, happy that the water was at his ankles instead of at his hips. The last time they had to go on a mission in the sewer it had been at his collarbones. He had been younger and a lot smaller, but it hadn't been very pleasant. On the other hand, last time they had known what kind of demon they were searching and where they had to search. "Of course I'm happy about that," The golden boy said with a smirk. "I wouldn't want my hair to be ruined, would I." When they had walked a block further, the sewer began to grow its own family of fungus and bacteria. Let's just say it was a humongous green family. "But if we knew where to search it would be even better." Jace told him. Alec choose to ignore him, but he would have thought it would have been nice if they had been given some information. There had been a message for them in the institute 'There is a demon on the loose in the sewer.' No precise location, no knowledge about what kind of demon. Nothing. So here they were in the sewer, like they have been for the past hour. There was still no sign of any kind of demonic activity, despite the demonic smell coming from the walls. After walking for a solid minute in silence, they stopped at a fork in the road. Would they go left or right? "We should split up, I will go right and you go left." Before Alec could complain about the idea, his parabatai had already left him to go right. So he did what he was supposed to do. While he went left he told Jace, knowing he could hear him: "After ten minutes back here.".

Alec had found nothing in his ten minutes of searching. In the end his shaft let to a dead end, so he had to walk back. It hadn't matter, the time had run out, so he had to get back anyway. Even though he had to concentrate on the mission and looking for an unknown demon, his mind wandered back to Clary again and again. He hoped she was enjoying herself with Izzy. The boy had noticed that the two of them became closer now time had passed. He knew Izzy liked Clary. Izzy had been the only female of their age in the institute for far too long. Alec knew she needed a girl as friend. He also knew she had found one in Clary and Clary in her. Alec was happy for her and he was happy for himself because his sister could get along with his girlfriend.

When Alec found himself at their meeting point, Jace wasn't there yet. He waited one minute and another. He didn't think his parabatai was in real problems, but he had taken too long to come back at the meeting point. Even though Jace made jokes whenever he wanted, he wasn't the person that wouldn't show up when they were on a mission. So he went right. The way right was full with green mould. The green almost looked fluoresce in the glow of the witchlight. Alec didn't want to look to long at the mould or the sticky, moisty, brown substance on the ground. He looked in front of him, searching for Jace. When he found the blonde, he wasn't really happy with what he saw. The black-haired-boy saw Clary there too. Normally he would have been happy to see her, but also fearful because she was in dangerous territories. He knew she could handle things, but she hadn't had the time the get trained. But now he wasn't thinking any of that. His mind couldn't make coherent sentences besides that one thought that dominated his mind. _Jace is kissing Clary._

When they broke apart, Alec was still standing where he had before. He couldn't walk or think; he was petrified, inside and out. Of course this happened. Clary is amazing, he could never be good enough for her. He understood that the greatest person he had ever met, thought he wasn't the person to stay by to whatever end. What he didn't understand, was why Jace did it. Alec knew that Jace had a thing for Clary, that was something he had known from the start. But it was his parabatai. They should be there for each other; not kissing the other ones girlfriend. The black-haired-boy didn't want see them together anymore. So he didn't. He turned around and walked away. When he was twenty feet away, the sound of someone's feet touching the ground was the only thing to hear beside the dripping of water. Alec walked further, hoping that it was indeed water that was dripping and not some sort of demon fluid or worse. Apparently Jace was done walking behind; he sprinted the last space that was between them. He grabbed Alec his arm tight, not painful but hard enough to make him stand still. "What do you want?" He couldn't give his brain the time or energy to come up with something better, maybe less frustrated. Alec didn't want to look at Jace, so he inspected the place where they stood. The two had stopped at the meeting point from earlier. It didn't look as bad as then. That had more to do with what he had just seen, than that the road had actually been cleaned in some manner. "Alec, brother, please just look at me for a second." Jace said politely but firm, letting him know that he had to. He still didn't want to look, but a whiny feeling in his chest made him do it anyway. "Thank you," Jace said seriously "You're angry aren't you?" Jace looked him in the eyes. He probably saw exactly what Alec felt. "No why should I be angry at my parabatai when he was just kissing my girlfriend." The blue-eyed-boy told him sarcastically. "I'm sorry Alec," Jace looked at him with full honesty and full of regret, something most people never saw. He opened up only to the people closest to him, and even for them it was unusual. It had taken the boy years to finally trust Alec. But Alec didn't care about that for a moment, not when he had just seen him kissing Clary. He was furious and when he reacted, it showed. It was without compassion. "What? That you kissed her or that you clearly liked it?" Jace his eyes widened. The black-haired-boy didn't thought he had ever seen so much of his eyes. "You can't say I have made the wrong accusation. Even if you did, your face would let me know otherwise." And with this Jace his face went on lockdown. "You're right. I'm not going to deny it. I'm sorry for what I did, but my emotions got the best of me. That never happened before, however Clary is special and you already knew I had feelings for her." He said it very rational. Alec knew he should have answered a little reasonable. However, because he was full of emotions, he did no such thing. "Emotions?! Feelings? I didn't know you had them! Last time I checked you were still using woman for your own pleasure and amusement!" Alec retorted. "I have in the past but Clary is different. She is… by the angel, she is the first person outside the family that I trust… and love" The golden boy told him openly. Alec noticed that if he said the wrong thing, he could break Jace. Even though he didn't want that, his answer wasn't getting any friendlier: "You can't love her Jace, she is with me now!" It appeared Jace had enough of it. "You sure? She kissed me, not the other way around!" the venom was dripping from his response. The blue-eyed-boy was startled, defeated and his world upside-down. "No, she didn't… she wouldn't. You prick, you deceived her into kissing you!"

"I didn't. I couldn't, even if I wanted to." Jace told him as his normal self, letting people think that they should have already known what he had just told them. This time he was right, the black-haired-boy should have known it. He had of course but he hadn't realised it when he had said what he had said. Alec had thought that maybe Jace had found a way to deceive Clary.

It was then that they saw Clary walking towards them. She looked the same as ever. Her hair was like a torch in the dark. When she was closer to the boys, Alec saw the lovely freckles of her. He also noticed that from this distance he could also see that her eyes weren't just green; they were all sorts of green. "Clary," Alec said surprised. Her beautiful lips curled into a smile as response. The smile had a bad fibe to it. It was to dark to have been from Clary, however she was the one who smiled. Then her mouth changed into the mouth of a ravener demon. She now had a flat snout, full with sharp, fanged teeth. Alec knew that if those were the exact same as those from a ravener demon -which was most likely- then those would be full with deadly toxic. If you got bitten by those, you most likely die. Before Alec knew what was happening, the eidelon demon had jumped on him. It took him by surprise, which was the reason why he fell. The black-haired-boy tried to turn so he wouldn't hurt himself, but the demon didn't let him, so it worked in reverse. He fell on his arm and broke it. The demon came towards him and bit him in the transition from collarbone to throat. Before Alec knew it, his world went dark. The last thing he heard was Jace calling out his name in despair. "Alec."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, here is another chapter. I'm so, so sorry it took so long but school is much more work than the last few years. I also have to think about what kind of career I want to pursue and back here in Holland we have a writers competition where you can actually win a writers contract. So I have been kind of busy lately and I don't know when I will upload the next chapter. But I will try to not let you all wait so long.**

 **To everybody who's still reading, I want to thank you. Even though I don't update regularly, you still keep on reading and if it wasn't for you guys, I probably would have posted this later. But I feel to guilty for not posting for so long already. I really am sorry for letting you all wait so long. especially with that cliff-hanger from last chapter.**

 **Please read and I hope you enjoy it!**

Before Clary knew what had happened her head had been turned off and her legs where running on their own. She couldn't believe it! Jace hadn't protected Alec at all. If he had, Alec wouldn't have be in the infirmary of the institute. That itself wouldn't have been such a problem, he could have been there for a big scratch that would have been gone within a day. That wasn't the case, he was unconscious and he had been for a while. Besides his state of being, she only knew that there had been a high warlock to see him and that even his powers couldn't make it all undone. It had helped but it had not been enough. Alec will still need to fight against the demon venom. So the-red-haired girl ran and ran, until she was finally at the double doors of the infirmary. In front of those immense doors she stopped. Even though she didn't want to, she needed to think of how he might look. She didn't want to go inside only to take a glance at Alec and run back out of there the moment she saw him, just because she hadn't expected the fact that he might look as if he had been hit by a truck. Multiple times. When she finally thought she dared to go inside, no matter how he looked, she went through the doors. Even though he was the only person in bed, it still took her some time to find him; the infirmary was pretty big. When she finally did, she fastened towards him. He didn't look like he had been driven over by a few very heavy cars. So that was something. Though it wasn't very warm in here, it was actually quit chilly, Alec was sweating immensely. His shirt was drenched with sweat. Alec also had a broken arm with a cast around it. In his neck there was a part that was swollen up. It was right at the transition from throat to collarbone. It was clearly there, even a blind man could have seen it from a mile away. That wasn't only because it was swollen, it was also dark blue. It was so dark, it looked almost black. Clary looked at how Alec laid there, pained even though he had something against it and with one of his arms beside him and his broken one on his chest.

That´s when she finally noticed him. Jace sat beside him. He looked defeated. Some might even say emotional. He is right, he should be, Clary thought. Although she didn't know what had happened, she knew Jace had something to do with it. So she asked, a little bit angry but mostly distressed: "What happened?". It was as if he hadn't noticed her until then. The head of the gold-haired-boy shot straight up when Clary had asked him. His eyes where big in surprise, but before she knew it he blinked and he had that poker face of him on his face. He still looked tired though. She waited a few minutes for an answer while looking at him; his gaze was at his parabatai. When the green-eyed-girl didn't think he would answer, she asked again. "Jace, what has happened?" Slowly he turned his head towards her. For one second he looked the red-haired-girl in the eye and turned his sight on the floor. "He got attacked by an eidelon." His eyes turned back to Alec when he told her. The boy probably didn't notice that she stared at him with a questioning look, so she had to ask him. "A what?" That's when he turned his head back at Clary and finally saw that she was looking at him. "Sorry, sometimes I forget you don't know everything yet. An eidelon demon is a shapeshift demon." Jace told her flat.

"Well, how did it happen, I mean you were with him right?" She asked as she was getting a little frustrated.

"Of course I was with him!" He suddenly changed from being in some sort of frozen state, to being furious. "What kind of parabatai would I be if I hadn't?!"

Clary had already noticed he was angry, it was kind of hard to look past, but now she thought of it she knew why. "You're mad. Why? Is it still because Alec and I are together instead of you and me?!' She knew she didn't ask very discreet, but at that moment it didn't matter. Jace didn't respond and by not doing so, he answered her question perfectly fine. It wasn't doing good things to Clary's mood though and so she rambled on. "You are! You truly are still mad at us because of that!" She shook her head while talking; she couldn't believe it. He was still angry at them, he couldn't even set his pride aside and be happy for the two. Jace looked at Clary and his look pierced through her and made her stand still. She hadn't noticed that she had started walking again. "I am not angry at angry Alec. I mean I was, but not anymore." He told her with a soft voice while looking back at the black-haired-boy.

"So you're not angry at Alec anymore, which means you're still angry at me."

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Why? You clearly forgave Alec!" Clary asked truly not getting it anymore. She got why the boy forgave his parabatai before he would forgive her. That's why they're parabatai. What she didn't get was why he was angry at her right now. What could she have done to make him act like this? Then Clary got her answer. Though it wasn't the answer she was looking for.

"I didn't love Alec in the way I loved you.' Almost whispering, he added 'The way I still do.'. It almost sounded as if he wanted to say it, just so it had been said out loud, just once, just for himself. Jace didn't say it as soft as he planned it to. As a result, Clary could hear every word he said. Even though it wasn't his intention to let her hear the last part, she did. He couldn't do this. She's not with him anymore, he can't let such bombs drop, intended or not. Her anger was getting bigger by the minute, so the green-eyed-girl didn´t really thought before she said: "So you're egoistic. 'I get her or no one does' is that it?". Now she was furious. Her voice raising with every word she said. "No! It's because I hesitated because of you!" He screamed defeated, which reflected how he seemed to be. "What are you talking about?" Clary asked. She was still angry at him, but she didn't get what he meant and so she was curious. Jace was about to answer when they heard something shift in the bed, asking: "Jace, is that you?". Jace didn't answer and just walked away. So Clary walked towards Alec and pushed the chair closer to the bed before she went to sit on it. "Hey, it's me." His eyes began to glow and his lips began to curl upside. Clary felt relieved, he was here and not unconscious anymore. She stayed at Alec his side for as long as she could and decided that finding out what Jace was talking about, was for another time.

 **Thank you for reading another chapter!**

 **I just noticed that most of my chapters begin with an apology for uploading so late. I truly hate that I let you all wait so long, so often and if I hadn't been so busy right now I would probably tell you that I would start to update more often and regularly. Unfortunately I don't think I can do that right now :(. I'm really sorry. I really, really do feel guilty for not posting for so long and I hope you all will forgive me. The writing competition stops on the 28th of februari so I hope I will have some more time to write after then.**

 **I wish you all a nice day, week and even month even if you don't forgive me not posting so long ;).**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, here is a new chapter. The contest has ended, I'll tell you all more about that down below. There is some bad news… I think I'm going to wrap up this story. I loved writing it, but I think I want to explore writing my own stories with my own characters. I think I'm going to write on Wattpad, but I don't know if it's going to be Dutch or English. Maybe it's going to be a combination of those two. If I make a decision I'll let you know. And I'm sorry if this chapter suck. I have been writing Dutch all the time, so it was a little bit difficult to switch back.**

 **But let's start reading the story and let me know what you think of it!**

It had been a few days since her encounter with Jace and Clary hadn't seen him yet. Which wasn't really that bad because she was still confused. They both had needed some time to think. She was still angry at him. That he was avoiding her wasn't helping. But now she was on her way to him. She wanted some answers and she wanted them now. The red-haired-girl had been in the infirmary when Izzy came in. There was always one of them with Alec. He was getting better, but he still wasn't there yet. The big bruise in his neck had lost some of his colour, now it looked like a normal bruise. When Izzy had told her that the green-eyed-girl needed to rest, she had just shoken her head and asked the girl where Jace was. So she was on her way towards the green house. The last couple of nights she had heard footsteps in front of her doors and she just knew that it had been Jace. But every night when he stood before her door, he took a moment and then just left. The red-haired-girl didn't know why he came, or why he changed his mind every time. She had told Simon, but he didn't know it either. Simon had been here a lot, though it was not only for her. He had spent a lot of his time with Izzy, which she truly didn't mind. It was kind of adorable to be honest. They both like each other, but they are to blind to see it.

She stood in front of some big doors with flower patterns on it. She pushed them open and took a look inside. It amazed her. It was nothing like she had ever seen, although she had only been in central park. The green house was full of exotic flowers of all kinds of colours. There were white ones, blue ones, purple ones, yellow ones and black ones. You call the colour and here you could find a flower in that exact shade. She should paint this some time, because it truly is extraordinary. That was when she saw Jace sitting halfway on some stairs. The stairs were old and a little bit rusty and it stood in the middle of the room. Clary walked over to the golden boy and sat next to him.

* * *

He had been in her for a while. Almost nobody came here, so it's the perfect place to get everything sorted out. So here he was, trying to sort everything that he was feeling out. He was lost in his thoughts and hadn't noticed that Clary came in and had sat down beside him. It wasn't until she said something that he realised she was even there. "Hey" Jace had tried to talk to her the last days. Every night he had walked to her room, only to leave after a few moments. Scared that his moronic feelings would get the best of him. "Hey, how did you know I was here?" He asked. He had wanted to tell her everything that had happened, hoping she would forgive him. He had wanted to clear the mess that he had made.

* * *

Jace looked like he was elsewhere, lost in thoughts. She still answered his question, hoping he would hear it. Not answering would be rude. "I asked Izzy. She told me to take a look in the greenhouse," Clary told him. She looked at him with concern, this was nothing for him. Normally he would be sarcastic, he would've been present. "And I wanted to talk to you." This grabbed Jace's attention, his head shot up immediately. "You did?" He asked. Clary had never heard him speak so unsure. It hurted her. She guess she did love Jace even though it's not in the same way she loved Alec. She loved him like she loved Simon, like you love the family members that you're very close to. But she was still angry at him and she wanted answers. "We were in the middle of a conversation when Alec woke up and you left," She said. He flinched at her words. It's strange, he always keeps his emotions locked up so no one could see him 'being week'. Though it almost never works on Clary, this was still unique. This whole time he had them out in the open. She made a mental note to ask him after, now she wants the answers she was looking for and it appeared that he wasn't going to answer. So she pushed him by saying: "So talk.". He began talking about what happened. They had been in the sewer for quit some hours without success and that they'd split up. After he told me that the golden boy started to draw some time. He was dreading something. He talked about something, but Clary knew he was talking shit. "Jace, what are you not telling me?" The girl asked. "Alright then, but please don't interrupt me halfway." Clary nodded "When we parted, Alec went left and I went right. My road ended in an open space. I looked around, like I was supposed to do, when I saw you coming in from the other side. At least I thought it was you. If I had thought of it I would have known it wasn't you, but back then I just didn't. So when the other Clary came closer and kissed me, I didn't stop her." He stopped talking and put his head in his hands. He took some deep breaths. The red-haired-girl wanted him to know that even though she was shocked, she didn't care. She wanted to comfort him, so she putted a hand on his knee, hoping that this would give him some strength to talk further. He took another deep breath and began talking again. The beginning a little bit shaky. "What I didn't knew at the time, was that Alec was watching. When I parted from the other Clary I saw that he walked away. I ran after him and we got into a fight… about you. We were both so frustrated at the other, that we didn't really watched our surroundings. No, I didn't look at our surroundings. He saw you walking towards us and called your name. This was the moment I noticed the other you. She smiled at us with an ice cold smile that could have never been from you. A moment later her smile turned into the mouth of a ravener demon. When she attacked him, he got smashed to the ground with her on him. I knew I should have done something; it was a demon attacking my parabatai. But I couldn't right away because it had your face. I hesitated because it had your face and that's the reason that he got bitten." His voice got full of shame, self-hate and sorrow. Clary's hand was still on his knee, so she pinched his knee slightly. The both were quiet for what seemed to be a very long time, but couldn't have been longer than a few minutes. Until the blond boy broke the silence. "I'm sorry, Clary." She looked at him confused, but he couldn't see it. But it was almost as if he did, because he answered the question she had in her head. _What are you sorry for?_ "I'm sorry that I came over as 'I get her or no one else does'." He shook his head a little, looking a little bit pained. "I guess for a moment I did exactly that. I know I did it and I'm sorry for it.' He looked the green-eyed-girl in the eyes when he followed.

* * *

"I would rather be friends with you than nothing." The boy said, even though it will hurt him every time they would meet, every time he would see her. But it's true, he would rather have some of her than nothing. "I just want you to be happy and to be honest with you: you could have picked a lot worse. Like Simon or something." Clary slapped his arm and laughed with him. "I don't think that will be a problem. I think he has his eyes on Izzy." She chuckles. _He did what?! I'm going to have to talk to him when all of this is over!_ Jace relaxed when the girl putted her head on his shoulder. They both sat there for a moment. "You choose well, Clary. Alec is a good guy. Not as amazing as I am of course, but still pretty good. By the angel, he's probably better than I am. I mean you choose him over me for a reason." He said, the hurt he felt was noticeable in his voice. Clary looked him straight in the eyes when she told him: "That I choose him, doesn't mean you are less than he is. I love Alec, but you _are_ amazing, i choose him had nothing to do with that.". The boy smiled a weak smile and looked in front of him.

After a few minutes Clary stood up and began to walk away. Jace immediately stood up too and grabbed her wrist. With a wicked smile on his face Jace said: "Before I can really let you go, there is one thing.". He pulled her against him and meeted her lips with his for a goodbye kiss. It was a soft one that let him put all of his emotions in it. He said goodbye to all of that and maybe to let her know what she was going to miss. For a short moment she kissed him back but then she pulled away. She didn't look as angry as he thought she would be. Good. The girl patted his chest. Her eyes focused on the spot she just patted. "Good night, Jace." "Good night, Clary.".

 **First of: Thank you for reading another chapter! You are amazing! Secondly: As I said before: the contest has ended, and well my friend and I made it! It was an incredible experience and I loved doing it with my amazing friend, who also helped me with previous chapters. Even though it might not be as good, I'm still proud that we made it. It is a Dutch story, but if you want to check it out, here is the link:**  
 **/search/In%2520memory%2520of%2520evelyn**  
 **It's called 'In memory of Evelyn' and if you want to support us, please follow our story. We would appreciate it a whole freaking lot.**


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